I could have been forgiven for sounding precocious when, aged about six, I declared that I was the type of child who was deprived without animals. Yet far from precocious I was in fact a shy and anxious little girl who was more comfortable in the company of creatures than people. Maybe I knew then the value of not being judged.
So guinea pigs made way for rabbits, nagging endlessly resulted in a feral cat and borrowing numerous dogs to walk eventually led to being allowed a scruffy rescue dog who became my mums best friend. More dogs, cats (and cade lambs etc) animals became part of my life -
And then horses entered the scene!
I was determined, naive (and exceptionally lucky) when at last I persuaded my parents to buy me a part bred Arab yearling. In hindsight as a first horse this was a ridiculous choice, however being 11 having all the time in the world and the dedication required, she and I spent two or three years learning together and participating mostly in what is now considered liberty training. She became a brilliant riding horse and my best friend - my only wish, that I had known then what I am learning now, but looking back I am quite proud of how we worked together and muddled through on intuition.
I used to say that horse saved my life, I'm not sure about that now, but I do know she helped - my relationship with her taught me so much whilst navigating through those turbulent teenage years. She taught me about relationships, personal responsibility and intuition (amongst other things) and I am eternally grateful for having her in my life.
Today I have spent the day with my border collie Jess, she has been unwell for a few days – we think she's had a stroke. Jess has been in my life for almost 15 years. She has been a constant, there through out the dramas, the fun, the tears that make a family life. She has climbed mountains, swum with me in rivers and seas, played football til dark with my boys, kept us safe on camping trips, accompanied us to festivals and gigs, been the last to bed at parties, attended our woodland wedding and (judging by her morning stiffness) probably trampolined more than was good for her.
I have often joked that she is the only member of the family guaranteed a home - no matter what she ever does. She has taught me endless patience, compassion, empathy, unconditional love and non-judgement - in a way, I believe, no human could.
To accept that she is old and her time now limited is bittersweet. It forces me into the present moment, to enjoy this precious time we have together whilst knowing that grief may
be just around the corner.
Yet however hard the thought of losing a beloved pet, it doesn't compare to the immeasurable value they bring to our lives.
There have been many studies into the benefits of animal/human relationships, the bonds are well documented and researched. Mental health issues, drug addiction, depression, PTSD, autism, the list is long, with new studies and findings all the time But more importantly, how many of our human issues could be prevented if we interacted more with animals? They are the bridge to our natural experience. We are in danger of losing these bonds, as we work longer hours and connect more with technology. We become estranged from animals who are our link to nature.
Our obsession with David Attenborough, for me, shows our need for this connection.
For me I just couldn't imagine life without the animals that have shared mine and hopefully those yet to join me. My well-being and mental health has at times been dependent upon these relationships. They have been my reason to get up, forced me outside (of my head and literally) and I have always felt better for this.
In my darkest times it has been my pets who have been there constantly, holding the space, listening patiently, comforting me with their presence - not trying to fix things or tell me what to do, just there waiting, shining their light.
Waiting for the clouds to pass over. Waiting until I am ready to play again :)